


Vapaya

by Boogum



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Aang Needs Advice, Euphemisms, F/M, Friendship, Gen, Humor, Katara wants a kiss test buddy, Puberty, Sex Talk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-15
Updated: 2018-10-15
Packaged: 2019-08-02 12:36:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,120
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16305365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Boogum/pseuds/Boogum
Summary: In which Aang needs advice, Sokka thinks he is a love guru, Katara is confused, and euphemisms abound.





	Vapaya

**Author's Note:**

> This idea somehow came about while having dinner with a friend. Can't remember all the details now, but papayas were involved (or, rather, "vapayas") and that somehow turned into a prompt about someone needing sex advice and silly euphemisms. Hope you enjoy!

"Hey, Zuko."

The prince had barely glanced up before Aang plopped next to him on the bench in the beach house courtyard. Their elbows bumped. Pain shot through Zuko's finger in a sharp jab. The needle he'd been using to stitch up a hole in his undershirt was now stuck in the fleshy part of his finger. Just great. Zuko pulled the needle out and watched blood ooze free. He narrowed his eyes at Aang.

"Do you mind?" he snapped.

Aang stared at the needle and thread. "You're not good at this, are you?" He shook his head. "You should just get Katara to do your mending. She's really fast and doesn't get blood all over the clothes."

"I'm not getting—"

Zuko broke off with a curse as he realised blood was indeed dripping on his undershirt in red droplets. He sucked on the wound. Aang smiled in a "there, there" kind of way—the expression most people reserved for Sokka. Zuko itched to toss the boy into the fountain not far from them. It was that little idiot's fault he'd even stabbed himself with the needle.

"What do you want, Aang?" Zuko managed to grit out, placing his mending aside. "I thought you were training with Katara and Toph on the beach."

Aang heaved a big sigh. "I was."

Zuko waited all of six seconds before he lost his patience. "If you're just going to sit here and sigh like a useless sop, you might as well go. I've got lots of—"

"Wait, wait, wait, wait." Aang waved his hands frantically. "I came because I wanted to ask you something."

The prince furrowed his brow. "What?"

"How do you pleasure a girl?"

Zuko blinked. Then he blinked some more. "Come again?"

Surely, he'd heard incorrectly. There was no way that Aang—innocent, goofball, just wanted to play on giant fish all day Aang—was actually asking him how to sexually please a girl.

Aang curled one leg up against his chest. "Well, I kind of have an idea, but I'm not entirely sure. Like, what are you even supposed to do down there?" He made a vague gesture at his crotch. "Girl parts seem so confusing and—"

"Hold it." Zuko's eyes widened. "Are you serious?"

Now it was Aang's turn to furrow his brow. "What? Is something wrong?"

"I—you—" Zuko pressed his hand to his face. "I just wasn't expecting this."

"Oh. Well, I thought you'd be the best person to ask. You're the oldest here and you seem to know about lots of different things."

Zuko lowered his hand. Aang was now beaming at him, looking absurdly like a child with his big, innocent eyes and with his chin resting on his knee. He reminded Zuko of a baby sparrow-bat waiting for its next feed from its mother. Zuko shook his head and stood up. "I can't do this," he declared.

"But—"

"I feel like I'm defiling your innocence just thinking about telling you anything."

Aang cocked his head to the side. "What does defiling mean?"

"Exactly my point! You're way too young!"

"Hey, I'm almost thirteen!"

Zuko frowned at the younger boy. "Why are you so curious about this all of a sudden? You've never mentioned this kind of thing before."

Aang's face went bright pink. He scratched one rosy-coloured cheek. "Well, um, I gotta be prepared for the future, right?"

Zuko stared. Aang's blush darkened and he glanced shiftily to the side. The kid had been making that kind of expression a lot around Katara, especially when she was only wearing those white wrapping things. Hips, breasts, butt—Zuko also found it hard not to stare when she stripped down; the tight cloth did nothing to disguise her curves and showed just enough skin to tantalise. But Zuko wasn't the one who grinned like a dreamy-eyed idiot at her, nor was he the one now looking like a kid caught with his hand in the fire flake jar.

"Ugh, no." Zuko scrunched his face and gathered up the undershirt, needle and thread. "I don't even want to imagine what you're thinking."

"It's not like I'm planning on doing anything _now_. I just want to know the important stuff so, you know, when the time does come, I won't stuff up."

Zuko placed his hand on the boy's shoulder. "You want my advice? Wait a few years. You can worry all you like about it then."

"Hey—"

The prince tried to make his escape by going inside the beach house, but Aang hurried to catch up with him.

"Oh, c'mon, Zuko," Aang pestered, sticking to him like a persistent shadow. "I'm not that young—only three and a bit years younger than you. Can't you help a buddy out? I won't ever bother you about it again."

"No."

"But—"

Zuko swung around to face him. "What's with you? A kid your age should be satisfied with hand-holding and, and—" he flailed for words "—and things like chaste kisses."

A decided glint entered Aang's eyes. "Oh, I get it."

Zuko shifted uneasily on his feet. "Get what?"

"The reason you don't want to tell me is because you don't know yourself." Aang let out another big sigh. "Never mind. I see I was wrong to come to you."

Zuko's face warmed. "I never said I don't know! Of course I know stuff about girls!"

"Sure, sure." Aang waved an airy hand and walked ahead. "I believe you."

"I do!"

Aang paused and glanced over his shoulder. "Then how do I pleasure a girl?"

"You just—" Zuko broke off. "I see what you're trying to do! Don't think I'm going to fall for that trick!"

Aang actually pouted. "Monkeyfeathers. I thought that would work."

Zuko was still glowering at the boy when Sokka appeared from the stairs that led down to the kitchen. Sokka had an armful of fruit clutched to his chest and a peach with a few bites taken out of it in his free hand. His cheeks also looked far too puffed.

"Whash'oin?" Sokka said.

Zuko scrunched his nose. "What?"

Sokka swallowed the food filling up his mouth. "I said what's going on? Did Momo steal your fire flakes again?"

"What?" Zuko shook his head. "No. This has nothing to do with Momo. Aang is just—"

"Hey, Sokka, how do I pleasure a girl?"

There was a beat of silence as Sokka stared at the younger boy, his jaw slack. Sokka had been about to take another bite of his peach, but it was like he had become frozen. The fruit barely touched his lips before it slipped from his grasp. Aang watched the peach's progress, which hit the ground with a thud and rolled into a cobweb.

"You dropped your peach," Aang observed.

Sokka didn't even glance at the fallen fruit; that alone spoke of the magnitude of this moment. "I don't believe it," he said, straightening to his full height. Then his mouth curved into a smile. "So, puberty has finally hit for you, eh?"

"Wait," Zuko said. "You're not shocked that he's asking you about this?"

"Shocked?" Sokka looped his free arm around Aang and pulled the kid close. "Our little airbender is finally becoming a man!"

Aang's cheeks went pink and he grinned. "I have grown a whole centimetre."

Zuko slapped his hand against his forehead. "Are you kidding me? Am I the only one seeing how weird this is? He asks you how to pleasure a girl and gets excited about growing taller by a centimetre."

"Don't be such a prude," Sokka retorted. He patted Aang on the shoulder. "Now then, the resident love guru, Sokka, is at your service. Ask me all the questions you like."

Aang looked up at him seriously. "Then I want to know how I can best pleasure a girl. I know that to have sex I have to put my penis in her—"

"Woah, woah!" Sokka's cheeks dusted with colour and he let out an awkward laugh. "You're really not holding back, are you?"

"Who's the prude now?" Zuko muttered under his breath.

Sokka threw him a glare before clearing his throat. "Er, maybe we should take this somewhere more private. Anyone could find us here. How about your room, Zuko?"

Zuko raised his one good eyebrow. "Wouldn't it make more sense to talk in the resident love guru's room? I don't want any part of this."

"We can't," Sokka replied without hesitation. "Suki is resting in there right now." He grimaced and lowered his voice in a conspiratorial manner. "It's that time of the month."

Aang cringed, but Zuko just stared at them both blankly.

"I don't get it." His brow creased. "What does the month have to do with anything?"

There was another beat of silence.

"Wow," Aang said, widening his eyes. "You really don't know anything about girls."

Zuko's face warmed all the way to the roots of his hair. Sokka dared to give him the "there, there" expression and patted him on the arm.

"It's okay, Zuko," Sokka said. "I see Guru Sokka has to teach you both a thing or two about our feminine counterparts."

He gestured for them to follow him and then headed up the stairs with his stash of fruit. Aang grinned and bounced happily after the Water Tribe teen. Zuko just stood in the hallway and rubbed the base of his neck.

"Time of the month?" he repeated under his breath. "Is there something special about today?"

"Zuko!"

Sokka and Aang called his name in unison. He sighed and trudged up the stairs. Well, maybe he could at least learn about this time of the month thing.

oOo

"You mean they bleed for _days_?" Zuko demanded incredulously.

Aang gave a dramatic shudder. "It's weird, right? And they always get all grumpy and—"

"How did I not know about this?" Zuko cut in.

He sat on his bed and stared at nothing in particular, looking as stunned as if someone had told him Sozin's comet was actually shaped like a giant cup of tea with a smiley face drawn on it. Mai, his ex-girlfriend, had never mentioned a word. Azula, his mother, Ty Lee—none of them had ever indicated they bled out of their lady bits for five or so days a month. To Zuko, the world had just become upside down.

"Well, you did get banished when you were thirteen," Sokka said, rubbing his chin. "I guess if you were raised in a palace and haven't been around a lot of females, you wouldn't know much about this kind of thing."

Zuko pointed at Aang. "He's twelve and is a monk." His eyes narrowed on the smiling airbender. "How did you even learn about this stuff?"

"Oh, I didn't," Aang said simply. "Not at the temple, anyway. Katara had to tell me about it after I found her washing bloody rags." He let out a sheepish laugh. "I, um, kind of panicked."

Zuko could easily imagine the scene: Katara washing away blood, Aang freaking out with all his usual drama and energy. It couldn't have ended well.

"Anyway," Aang said, tugging both his legs up to his chest as he perched on the floor, "enough about the gross stuff. I want to know how to pleasure a girl."

Zuko pressed his palm to his face. "Do you have to say it that way?"

"What?" Aang cocked his head to the side. "Pleasure a girl? Is there a better way? Should I say 'get her to orgasm' or—"

Zuko resisted the urge to cover his ears. Hearing Aang talk about giving girls orgasms was weirding him out more than the thought of bleeding for several days a month as a natural matter of course. The kid looked so pure and innocent.

"Are you actually going to encourage this?" Zuko demanded, rounding on Sokka.

Sokka shrugged. "If not us, then who? It's not like there's anyone else."

Something plummeted and twisted in Zuko's stomach. Of course. All the airbenders had been wiped out. Aang had no parents or any other older, male role model figure. Zuko and Sokka were all the kid had.

Zuko sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Fine. I guess we can tell you a few things."

"Oh, it's okay," Aang said with a rather patronising smile. "I'm sure Sokka can tell me everything. I mean, you didn't even know what 'that time of the month' meant."

Zuko opened and closed his mouth wordlessly. "That was different! I know plenty about—" he flailed for words and ended up settling on Aang's horrible description "—pleasuring a girl."

"I bet I know more," Sokka countered.

The competitive fire had been sparked. Zuko raised his chin. "I doubt it."

Brief as his relationship with Mai had been, it had been pretty physical.

Sokka leaned forward. "Alright, how many girls have you kissed?"

"Uh, two."

Sokka looked a bit put out. He sat back on the bed. "Oh. Me too." He recovered a second later. "Then how many bases have you got to?"

Zuko's brow creased. "Bases?"

"You know, like iceball."

The frown did not waver. "I have no idea what you're talking about, but if it helps, I'm not a virgin."

Sokka's jaw dropped. Aang actually threw himself onto his knees in front of Zuko and lowered his arms and head in a ridiculous, over the top bow.

"I'm sorry I ever doubted you," Aang said, repeating his stupid bow with extra flare. "Great Love Guru Zuko, teach me all you know!"

Zuko scrunched his face. "Spirits, make it stop."

Sokka just pouted and folded his arms across his chest. "Hey, I'm supposed to be the love guru here."

Aang sat up and looked at him with big eyes. "Have _you_ had sex with a girl?"

Sokka's cheeks coloured. "Well, I, um—"

The airbender gave him the "there, there" expression. "It's okay, Sokka. You'll get there eventually."

"You—you—" Sokka trembled with wounded pride before pointing his finger like a damning sword at Zuko. "Suki and I would have gone all the way if he hadn't interrupted us that night!"

"What?" Zuko leaned back from the tip of Sokka's finger. "What are you talking about?"

"Before you and Katara went off on your little revenge field trip!" Sokka lowered his hand and his shoulders drooped. "I had everything ready, but Suki ran into you first and then you entered the tent straight after." He let out a despairing breath. "Now she says it might be better if we just wait until after the war. Doesn't want to get interrupted, and who knows what Toph's feet can sense? Suki won't even let me touch below the belt."

Zuko's mouth quivered. "That's, uh, rough."

Sokka's eyes were like daggers. "Don't you dare laugh. This is all your fault, you cock-blocking viper-rat!"

Zuko couldn't help it: he snorted with laughter. Aang soon joined in, which left Sokka red in the face and scowling.

"Yeah, yeah, laugh it up," Sokka told them, trying and failing to recover his dignity, "but just because Zuko has had sex doesn't mean he's any good. For all we know, he could be terrible in bed."

Aang swivelled his head towards Zuko. "Are you?"

"Am I what?"

"Bad in bed?"

Zuko covered his face with his hands. "I knew I shouldn't have said anything."

"I think that means that he is," Aang said in a stage whisper to Sokka.

"It does not!" Zuko lowered his hands. "Look, Mai would kill me if she knew I was talking about our—our sex life to you two."

Sokka's mouth twisted. "Sex life, huh? So it was more than once, huh?" His mouth twisted even more and his fingers closed around the papaya near his hand. "Must be nice."

Zuko eyed the other boy warily. "Why does it look like you want to bash me over the head with that papaya?"

An unnerving smile. "Does it?"

Zuko shuffled away a few inches. Aang ignored this exchange and grabbed onto Zuko's leg.

"C'mon, Sifu Hotman," Aang pleaded. "You're the only one who can tell me what I need to know about girls. Can't you share just a little of your knowledge with me?"

Zuko pushed at the bald head with his hand. "Get off."

"But I—"

"What are you guys doing?"

The sound of the feminine voice had all three boys freezing. None of them had heard the door open. Sokka was the first to recover and a wicked glint entered his eyes.

"Oh, hey, Katara. We were just talking about vagi—"

"—payas!" Aang cut in loudly.

Katara pursed her lips. "Vapayas?"

Aang forced a grin and picked up one of the papayas on Zuko's bed. "Just fruit," he said, trying his best to look innocent. "We're arguing over which is the best fruit."

"Now, that's not right, Aang," Sokka said with all the maliciousness of one who has been permanently cock-blocked and wants others to suffer with him. "You know you wanted to know how best to handle the papaya. That's why you came to our resident papaya expert." He wrapped an arm around Zuko. "Our buddy here claims to know all about papayas: when to pluck them, how to get the _juiciest_ results."

Zuko's cheeks warmed and he once more covered his face with his hands. "Make it stop," he pleaded to no one in particular.

Aang's face was positively glowing with his own blush. "Sokka," he hissed. "What are you doing?"

"Talking about papayas." Sokka tugged Zuko closer. "Not that I can hold a candle to this guy here. You wouldn't think it with how awkward he is, Katara, but this guy really knows his fruit. He's gone the _whole way_ —tasted the best parts and all. And he's done it more than once."

Katara stared at her brother for a good three seconds. "Right," she said slowly. "Well, can I borrow your papaya expert for a moment?"

Zuko shoved himself free of both boys. "Sure."

Anything to escape the embarrassing conversation.

He followed her out of the room and towards the stairs. The soft thud of their feet on the steps was all he could hear.

"So, you know how to handle a papaya, huh?" she said after a moment.

Zuko groaned. "Please don't."

Katara laughed. "Word of advice: next time you guys might want to lower your voices."

"You heard?"

"I heard enough," she admitted.

Zuko noticed that her cheeks had gone a bit pink. He figured it was just natural embarrassment—he sure as heck felt hot around the ears—so he decided not to push the issue. It wasn't until they reached the bottom of the stairs that she spoke again.

"So, will you tell him?" she asked.

"Hrm?"

"Aang. Will you tell him about how to get, uh, the juiciest results from a papaya?"

Zuko's face burned. "You don't have to use Sokka's weird euphemisms, you know."

"I know."

There was an awkward silence where they both just blushed at each other. Zuko wished he was back in the room with Sokka and Aang; dealing with an inquisitive girl was so much more uncomfortable.

"Do you want me to?" he eventually managed to get out, though he refused to meet her gaze. "Tell Aang, I mean."

"I don't think it has anything to do with me."

Her tone sounded odd. Zuko couldn't put his finger on why. Then she slowed and grabbed his arm. He obligingly stopped for her.

"Hey, Zuko," Katara murmured, keeping her gaze lowered.

"Yeah?"

"Can I ask you something?"

His instincts warned him of danger, but Zuko also wasn't sure how to say no. "Um, sure. I guess."

She sucked in a small breath. "Do you think it's bad that I don't want Aang to kiss me?"

Zuko's jaw went slack. This was not the direction he'd been expecting their conversation to take. "U-um, I don't think—shouldn't you be asking Suki this kind of thing? She's a girl and—"

"But you have experience with this kind of thing."

He stumbled a little as she advanced upon him, driving him into the open sitting room behind them. "H-Hey, Suki does too. I'm, uh, sure."

Katara ignored this feeble protest. "Aang's kissed me twice and I didn't feel anything. I mean, I was confused because both times it came out of nowhere, but I didn't exactly want him to do more. That's not normal, right?"

Zuko's back hit the wall. Now he was trapped. "O-oh? Maybe you were just shocked?"

"That's what I thought at the time."

Her hand moved up his arm. Zuko's bare skin tingled under her touch, making him painfully conscious of the fact that he had yet to put on a shirt. He swallowed, adam's apple bobbing in his throat. Katara had her gaze fixed on his chest.

"I should feel something, right?" she said more softly. "Butterflies, my heart pounding. Something physical. Something more than just wanting him not to get upset."

Zuko's stomach fluttered and his heart hammered against his ribs. "Um, Katara—"

"I should want to get closer myself." She took another step forward so that he could feel the heat of her body humming in the air between them. "That's how it's meant to be, right?"

Zuko quickly gripped her shoulders as she leaned up. "Hey. What are you doing?"

Katara met his gaze. The way she bit her lip did awful things to his sense of control. "I just want to test something."

His entire body stilled. If Zuko were a little less impulsive and driven by his emotions, he might have put his foot down and told her to go away. She'd admitted she was confused; he knew getting involved would only cause trouble—for him, for her, for Aang. Instead, his breathing fragmented and one of his hands slipped up caressingly along her neck, moving to thread in her hair. He'd never dreamt she'd give him this opportunity, not after Ba Sing Se.

"Just a test, right?" he asked a bit huskily.

She nodded. "Just a test."

Zuko held her gaze for a moment, memorising the image of her flushed cheeks and darkened irises. Then he lowered his face and pressed his mouth to hers. Soft. Malleable. Her lips were yielding silk and tasted like mangos, his favourite fruit. Zuko knew he shouldn't linger. He started to pull away, but she followed. Their lips brushed again. And again.

And again.

It was like a spark had been lit—a fire fuelled by fluttering pulses and thudding heartbeats. Neither of them wanted to quench it. She tangled her fingers in the hair at the nape of his neck and pressed even closer, moulding herself to his frame. His body trembled. Their lips slanted against each other, seeking for the perfect angle, parting a little more until breath was exchanged and their tongues met in a giddy union.

Spirits, this was too much.

Zuko pulled back and rested his forehead against hers. "Stop."

Katara made a sound of protest. Her eyelashes fluttered open and she met his gaze. There was a dazed look in her eyes that he couldn't help but find flattering. Her lips were swollen and her breathing had yet to slow.

"Did that satisfy your curiosity?" he asked, though his cheeks were hot and he knew he had to be blushing.

"Um." She licked her lips. "Yeah. I think I got what I needed to know."

Zuko carefully eased her back so he could step away from the wall. "Okay."

He turned away from her and had to suppress the urge to slap his palm to his forehead. Okay? This was the girl he'd been crazy about for weeks—much as he'd tried to ignore his feelings—and now that she'd finally given him an opening, all he could say was okay? Why did words fail him when he needed them most?

Katara's fingers closed around his wrist. Zuko stilled, pulse quickening under her fingertips.

"Don't go." She tugged him closer. "There's no rush, right?"

His heart once more hammered against his ribs. "Are you sure?" He swallowed. "You said you were confused and I don't want to—"

She touched his jaw and guided his face back down to her. "I'm sure." Her eyes held his. "I'm really, really sure."

Then she kissed him again. Needless to say, Zuko didn't protest.

oOo

**OMAKE**

Aang and Sokka exchanged a glance as they sat munching on fruit.

"You think he's coming back?" Aang asked.

"Dunno."

Aang bit into a papaya and then pulled a face, spitting out the fruit. Then he just sighed. Maybe Zuko was right. Maybe he still needed to wait a few years.


End file.
